Not only to those who have been following this blog, but to those who have been following (and leading) me on leashes.
The last many weeks have been insane. May 1 we closed on the sale of our house, and the time leading up to that and following that involved a lot of time and focus. We are currently staying with family, but it has definitely interrupted my routine.
When I last posted, I was very emotional, and unsure about my next steps. I took a week off completely to process, reflect, and love the critters around me. My return has been gradual; between the move and my nervousness, I have only been about once or twice a week. While I miss it, I also think that this could be the more successful long term strategy for me. I am learning to balance caring so much that I am helping with caring so much that my heart breaks. Right now, less is more, in that I am able to feel like I can continue doing this.
I have found myself affected a bit, though, but the lessons of Zander, and haven't spent as much time with one or two particular dogs, instead trying to make sure to interact with different ones more often. Also, with the schedule changes due to the move, my time at the shelter has been a bit shorter, and as such, there is less walk/snuggle/play time and more of the focus on getting the pups out for a potty break and then on to the OK Corral.
I have seen quite a few pups come and go since I last posted, and thankfully have not had any hard days. I know they will come, but I am working on equipping myself to be better prepared.
I do not have as many pictures to share, which I suppose is a reflection of the distance I have placed. As I ponder that, I find myself feeling like something is missing. The reason I can do this is because I care, and trying to not care is making me less excited about helping.
Wednesday this week I go back; my new schedule will put me there on Wednesday and Thursday mornings for at least a few weeks. I hope that with the return of consistency, so will return my ability to love each of those pups as much as I can in the time that I have with them. I have looked at in my personal life as well...when we lost Samantha, I felt burned, and hurt, and angry and so many emotions that I didn't know how to process them. But, somehow, the very next day, I looked at the bigger picture for my pup-family, and we wound up adopting Carlie. It would dishonor the lessons I learned from Zander to keep all the pups at a distance. After all, Zander took almost every lap and gave it as much love as he could. Why should I treat these pups any differently than they treat me?
To that effect, Pebbles has gone home. She spent a lot of time at the shelter, and I recall when Angus went home, that she was the other option. I was fortunate enough to get a few opportunities to walk her, and I am glad that she now has a loving family of her own. The work of the volunteers to teach her manners, and also to find what worked for such an intelligent, strong dog, well, that's a big portion of why big pups like her are given a chance.
Silly Billy is gaining a reputation. Billy is a big lug...he is intimidated by the bigger females, but bring the little pups around, and he goes into the wiggliest play-bow I've ever seen. Billy is happy for scritches, rubs and loves, and would really like someone that will give those to him, and would be well served to find someone who will use those as encouragement for him to keep learning as well. Billy's like the stereotypical movie big, dumb jock (that somehow I have never found in real life)...it may take him a few times to learn his lessons, but he makes up for it with his enthusiasm.
Nico is another pup with a lot of energy. I know, something about silly ears just get me. Nico's sweet, and needs someone that will work with him on consistency and teach him a job. Walks are mixed up with playtime, and it can be a challenge occasionally. However, as I am growing to love saying, thanks to the work of some amazing volunteers, he is coming along.
And to continue my praise of volunteers...Star went to a forever home that will be a great fit. A lot of that has to do with the work and effort of a volunteer that started at the same orientation as I did. Carla is at EHS more than I have been, and works wherever the help is needed. I am blessed to have met her, because she shows that devotion to service that I sometimes have to work so hard on. May there forever be folks like this to inspire me and others around them.
Nico and Billy would love to go home soon. If you are out of the area, I would push my plea...maybe you're not at the point where you can bring a furry home forever, but please encourage those you know to think about shelters and rescues first. There are countless critters as amazing as the ones I have come to know and love all across this country.